The inital auditions for the production were today. Luckily/unluckily I got paired with the best singer the school has to perform a song in front of everyone. As expected, he near completely drowned me out! Still, he’s got serious style. Word to Harrison.

The production this year’s got me excited, though. So long as I get a role in the chorus I’ll be happy. The songs’re great! If I get in I’m so uploading a million backstage pictures onto facebook.

Anyways, I’m just glad tomorrow’s wednesday. I know I only ever go six-seven days without visiting the ice rink, but now that I only ever end up staying for an hour and a half at most it always seems like so much longer. Plus, hockey stops are the best things in the world.

Seriously. If everyone could hockey stop, the world would be a happier place! I know I say that about a lotta things, but this time I might just be correct. Who doesn’t love digging their skates into the ice and making white stuff spray everywhere?

You’re quite a sick individual if you read that as something you wouldn’t otherwise tell to an innocent child. Shame on you!

It’s 0032. I managed to get an hour of sleep, but for some reason I woke up with a bollywood song from a movie you don’t even wanna know about playing on loop in my head. Does anyone else beside myself find that just a little creepy?

Or maybe I’m destined to grow up, suffer a stroke and wake up in a hospital speaking hindi (The super-awesome dancing that accompanies would come with time.). I’ve read somewhere before that people have suffered a stroke and woke up to start speaking with a foreign accent – medical records would not lie! So if a Canadian woman from Halifax can stroke and start speaking with a distinct Farsi-Iranian accent (I kid you not – it actually happened!) what’s not to say an Aussie guy like me can’t stroke and start speaking fluent hindi?

Ohh you just wait, all ye nay-sayers! One day I’ll be all ‘namaste this’ and ‘namaste that’ and I guarantee you’ll eat your hat!

And everything I just wrote above is testament to every reason why someone should never be blogging at half past midnight =P

Well, it’s 2250 hours here in Perth and I’m settling down and making myself comfortable for the antagonising wait between now and 0200 when my dear sis touches down from Singapore (What I wouldn’t give to be at Changi right now!). And that’s not including the drive over either – a good half hour or so there and back on its own.

I know that while this city, geographically the largest one I’ve ever lived in, is mighty tiny in comparison to other cities one might find across the globe, it sure is a long trip to the airport! Is that was symbolic of something?

I mean, it sorta makes sense that in one of the most secluded cities in the world the only international way out would be found a painful petrol bill away from the majority of civilisation. Don’t ask me why, but it makes sense. Oh, and they probably get a lot of Kiwis flying through as well, hence why they’d wanna keep transit far from the population’s eye. So that makes sense too.

Maybe if the airport was a ‘widdle closer, though, pre-dawn excursions back and forth to pick up sisters, way too much luggage for a healthy back and nifty, unidentified French souvenirs would be just that little more enjoyable.

And what dumb prick decided to stick the biggest baseball store in WA right outside the freakin’ airport?! I know they’re trying to attract a more international crowd and all since baseball’s not exactly a welcome addition to Australian culture, but come on! We don’t get that many American tourists to ratify sticking the only place to find a decent-sized catcher’s mitt in the entire state out in the middle of a place where most people would be able to buy a top-range aluminum bat for the petrol cost alone!

Aand they don’t even sell MLB jerseys there either. It’s a sad sight to see, the extent of an Australian baseball store. *shakes head*

Still, I’m not the sibling who’s been travelling for 24+ hours (Could possibly be 28 – unsure,), so the common conformity would be to shut up with any complaints of mine and invest in a stockpile of caffeine that I normally wouldn’t be able to drink in a decade all to appear superiorly un-jetlagged in the face of all those creepy German men who hang around the airport seemingly 24/7.

I swear, what do these German men do all the time? It’s obvious they don’t fly here to visit Perth, yet the only reason you’d fly to this part of Australia otherwise is to hop over to New Zealand after a long flight from, I dunno… Greenland. Or somewhere like that. And we all know Germans aren’t interested in Kiwi land. So why can I always spot some twenty-something dude from Bavaria reading Dur Wille zur Macht every single time I walk into the baggage pickup at Perth international?

Maybe I’ll ask one of them?

… Maybe not.

Night night all =P

I swear to God, a miracle happened at school today. No, not a miracle! This was a defining point of history dammit! I’m not joking when I say it takes a Canadian to say this. Bid me to write for you the quote that was uttered at roughly 11am today by Mr John Van Dyke, whom I hereby nominate to become the next Canadian ambassador to Australia.

“Good morning staff, official party and students. I’m John Van Dyke, and I have a confession to make … I like to wear lycra.”

It had to be seen and heard to be believed. I think the accent just made it even more legendary than what would have been otherwise possible. Allow me to Canadianise it for you:

“Good mernin’ staff, official purty and students. I’m Jahn Van Dyke, and I have a confession te’ make … I laike to werr lai-krra.”

If he said ‘eh’ at the end of all that, the universe would have imploded. And somehow, wearing lycra has become an acceptable fashion for men all around the world. Good on Mr Van Dyke, eh?

You just know that deep down you wanted to be there to witness it

Oh, I’m so very happy now that the Leafs have begun winning again. I mean, let’s all be honest here: a 3-1 win over Atlanta isn’t that much of a stretch (Oh, he didn’t! xD), but with the titanic struggle between the incredibly awesome Leafs and the incredibly gay Senators tomorrow morning (Excuuuuuuse me for being half the world away from Canada, folks -_-) I reckon it’ll be worth the wait to catch the recaps.

I’ve learnt not to watch the play-by-play of matches in between breaks at school. Ever since I sent a chair and an innocent Singaporean flying in the library one recess when I discovered the Leafs lost to Minnesota I reckon one more snap in public and the librarians will finally have their reason to get me admitted to the school psychologist.

I’m not insane! I just support Toronto

And quite simply I hate my old digital camera. For some reason the battery runs out while it is switched off. And just to think, I was going to get all fanboyish over facebook with a new display picture of me in my Toronto jersey only to find myself staring at the stupid camera as I wait for it to hurry up and recharge. I’m so stealing my sister’s camera when she gets back to Perth!

Which reminds me! Speaking of flying back into Perth, I’ll be at the international airport at roughly 1am this weekend if there’s any local fans of mine who desire an autograph ^_^

Nah. Only joking. My autograph probably isn’t worth anyone lugging it to Perth international at 1 in the morning. But maybe someday it will be, though!

Anyways, welcome back to Perth in advance Sarah. Try and make the most of France while you’re still there – and bring me back something! While a new digital camera with a decent-sized battery and nifty zoom features would be incredibly well appreciated, anything that says ‘Made in France’ in French is fine as well

Well, it’s February 23 which spells national day for Brunei. Allah peliharakan Sultan to you as well.

Anyways, not a great deal to say today. Mr Holland’s Opus is definately a film I’d reccomend to everyone (And you best bet I stayed awake till 1am watching it!) and it even taught me some very basic ASL too! I won’t lie – I already learnt how to fingerspell from some old Take 6 music video back in the day – but I can say with confidence I now know how to tell someone they’re an asshole in sign language and I’m not afraid to use it.

And that’s not using the rude finger, either. Fear me!

I was hoping I wouldn’t have to end up studying today, but with the Kanji test on monday as well as a literature assignment on the Canterbury Tales due sometime before wednesday and a maths test coming up I might not have an alternative.

Peace out.

Wishing on Stars – a teaser

Yes, this is a short snippet of the self same Once Upon a Yesterday Morning short story I promised a while back. The old name just wasn’t doing it for me, so I thought this snappier, more relevant title would fit snugly.

Anyways, as always for your viewing pleasure. Please do enjoy.

“All humans used one single weapon against this danger. They started to resist with a crust which was welded with human brain and willpower. A coating which was formed by compressed human brain molecules was protecting the earth. The only power which could breach this shield was a weapon to be constructed with human brain and willpower. But in reality, how strong their weapons be; the enemies of the earth in galaxy; did not have brains.”

I swear to heaven above that is not a gigantic accidental typo. Above is a sample of the opening text to Turkish Star Wars. So apparently in this futuristic reality humans have found a way to cover the entire atmosphere with their brains, and their ultimate enemy is not their intergalactic foes, as described with having no brains of their own, but their own diabolically misplaced trust besowed upon the Turkish translator in charge of subtitling their movie.

Don’t suppose you’ve ever heard of Turkish Star Wars before, have you? Or The Man who saved the World if you prefer direct Turkish-English translations. No? Well, that’s a good sign, ’cause incidentally I never should have found out about it, either. And by God I wish I never did, because I’ve officially found the worst film that ever went straight to dvd.

Hell, this barely made it onto a VHS back when it was released in… when was it released, again? It really doesn’t matter, because despite this being some odd 70s/80s flick it’s got no excuse for being worse than the old black-and-white fare of the 50s era. But oh dear is it bad.

See, there’s this one scene that stuck out in my mind, and I’m gonna attempt to describe it with words. The Luke Skywalker-esque hero, for some reason named Kevin, is standing alone in the middle of Turkey (Like that needed establishing.) facing off single handedly against an army of mummies that possess massive seven-inch wolverine claws and 6-foot-something tall guys dressed in red, furry monkey outfits. The leader of this army is a wizard, somewhat resembling a cross between Prince and Queen Amidala (Which says a whole lotta things I don’t even wanna think about!), who – get this – possesses the ability to recite typical 007 bad guy monologues off by heart and unconsciously manage to somehow fart constant cloud-like streams of yellow, sulphurous methane gas at the same time (Talk about multitasking!). This is apparently supposed to be very common in the Turkish Star Wars universe, because I’m telling you about a scene at the end of the movie and yellow fart clouds have not been an uncommon sight so far!

Anyways, fast forwarding a bit to where a film roll directly ripped off some Star Wars movie I can’t be bothered remembering shows the death star blowing a planet to kingdom come. Maybe this is intended to be symbolic of earth? Or maybe it was a mistake in editing (Holy crap, you’re telling me this film was actually edited?!)? That seems to be the only likely case, since a few seconds later our hero Kevin is fighting mummies aboard a space ship.

Mummies on a space ship isn’t the most absurd thing yet. After the fiftieth fight scene in the film – you won’t believe this – a troupe of luchadores literally walk through a wall and join in the brawl and initiate getting karate chopped to pieces to the Indiana Jones theme music.

Why are mummies and Mexican wrestlers on a space ship in the first place?! And did they just destroy planet earth? Shit just doesn’t get any trippier than this, I swear to God.

But y’know what? If you’re willing to call yourself truly fearless and subject yourself to the same headtrip I did just so I could bring my impressions to my readers, I’ll leave you the link to smaple what exactly Turkish Star Wars is in all it’s painful glory

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7069307816427160377&hl=en

Sweet dreams xD

I won’t pretend I ever knew any of the victims at Illinois North this morning. And there’s probably nothing I can say to help the affected, but I’d like to ask all of you readers to pray for the six dead. And tell your friends and families as well. A little prayer can go a long way, especially on a day like today. Never forget them.

Well, two days in the sick has officially killed my chances of performing that stupid monologue for drama class. Dunno for sure if that’s a good thing or not: I may not have gotten any marks for it but the dialogue was bad enough to make people’s ears bleed (Who said Shakespeare knew his shit?!) - and I could probably do without the humiliation of uttering ’Oh she misused me past the endurance of a block’. No, I’m not doing this on purpose. THERE IS NO PUNCTUATION IN THAT SENTENCE. And that was the opening line too. I mean, come on: it’s completely lifeless! And that’s not the worst line in the monologue, either. I won’t even write the worst line in the monologue because it’s such a travesty to theatrical literature.

Yeah, you heard me Shakespeare. Much Ado About Nothing is the balls. Screw you!

Anyways, I finally convinced one of the video store people I was 18 and ended up seeing A Clockwork Orange yesterday. Excellent movie – no doubt about it – but incredibly repulsive at the same time. Not everyone’s cup of tea, but if anyone’s got the nerve I reccomend seeing it.

And since it wouldn’t be like me to not mention the weather, it’s currently sucking even worse than my discarded monologue. And for some reason I want leek soup. Joyful joyful =P

Btw Lizzy, if you’re reading this sorry I couldn’t make it to the rink tonight